How many idiots does it take to change a light bulb?

Five - one to hold the bulb, and four to turn his ladder

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Bulb Jokes More Bulb Jokes

How many talking heads does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Two. One to hold the bulb, and another to spin the story until the bulb fits.

How many Irish folk singers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to change the bulb and one to sing about how grand the old bulb was.

Ladder Jokes More Ladder Jokes

How many corporate drones does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

That's impossible, because they can't climb the ladder.

How many blondes does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

5 1 to hold the bulb and 4 to spin the ladder.

Hold Jokes More Hold Jokes

How do you make a door hold water?

You open it slightly so it's ajar.

Why are there no pictures of Ted Cruz holding a baby?

They always turn out blurry from him shaking them.

Turn Jokes More Turn Jokes

How does a yoga instructor turn down an invite?

Namaste home tonight.

What do these shoes do?

GLINDA: Send you home D: Lame tries new pair And these G: Wait- D: clicks heels turns into hamburger

Change Jokes More Change Jokes

How many blondes does it take to change a lightbulb?

Need to know ASAP.

How many bros does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They prefer Natural Light.

Light Bulb Jokes More Light Bulb Jokes

How many Apple executives does it take to change a light bulb?

They dont. They turn it into the hype of the new generation.

How many atheist does it take to change a light bulb?

None. It will happen itself.

Idiot Jokes More Idiot Jokes

Why did the idiot drive his pickup truck over the side of the cliff?

He wanted to try out his new air brakes.

Why do people say its not you... it's me in a breakup?

Yeah it's YOU, you're an idiot! I'm amazing... ask your brother!