What did one strand of yarn say to the other?

I'm not ready to dye, I still have a few ends to tie up. "Ball up..."

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Ball Jokes More Ball Jokes

When do you kick a dwarf in the balls?

When he is standing next to your lady saying her hair smells nice.

How does Times Square start the new year?

By having Mariah Carey drop the ball! "The audience can sing this one."

End Jokes More End Jokes

Why do Polish people's names end in 'ski'?

Because they can't spell toboggan.

What does a novice woodworker have in common with a constipated woodworker?

In the end, both are lucky to produce a stool.

Dye Jokes More Dye Jokes

What do you call a woman who dyes her hair red?

Transginger.

What was the name of that hair salon next to the graveyard?

I've got it! It's called "Curl Up and Dye."

Tie Jokes More Tie Jokes

Whats the difference between a noose and a leash?

How high you tie it on a tree.

Why did Yogi Bear only have a collar and a tie, and not a full dress shirt?

Patiently waits as you all Google pics of Yogi Bear*

Strand Jokes More Strand Jokes

What did the rich bearded slave owner say when he was stranded in the desert and saw a mirage of an Arabian lamp and rubbed it?

here in my mirage got this brand new labor genie here

What do you call a black hitchhiker?

Stranded.

Yarn Jokes More Yarn Jokes

How many absurdists does it take to change a lightbulb?

Yarn.

What did the wife spider say to her husband when he tried to explain why he was late ?

Your spinning me a yarn here !