What do a washing machine and a one night stand have in common?

a washing machine doesn't follow you around for a week after you put a load in it..

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Follow Jokes More Follow Jokes

How did you burn the Thanksgiving Turkey?

Me: I followed the directions. 20 minutes a pound at 325 degrees. I weigh 175 pounds!

Who are all these people Twitter wants me to follow?

Has the fail whale been stalking me. Help, stranger danger!

Night Jokes More Night Jokes

What's big, white and goes down on you in the middle of the night?

An Airbus A320.

What do SQL programmers do at night?

Count star.

Week Jokes More Week Jokes

How do you keep a turkey in suspense?

I'll get back to you in a few weeks

How do you ruin a joke?

By reposting it every week!

Load Jokes More Load Jokes

What's the difference between a washing machine and a virgin?

A washing machine doesn't follow the guy around for 2 weeks after he drops a load in it.

What is easier to load your van with bowling balls or screaming baby's?

Baby's because you can use a pitchfork

Night Stand Jokes More Night Stand Jokes

What does the Doctor say on a one-night stand going wrong?

It's bigger on the inside(http://www.youtube.com/watch v=6zXDo4dL7SU)

What does a robot do at the end of a one night stand?

He nuts and bolts.

Washing Machine Jokes More Washing Machine Jokes

What's the difference between a laundry machine and a girl?

The washing machine doesn't get upset if I dump a load in it and never call back

How do you turn a washing machine into a snowblower?

Give her a shovel.