What is the best way to avoid having your flight bombed?

Bring your own bomb! Cause what are the odds that there are **two** bombs on the same plane

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Bomb Jokes More Bomb Jokes

How did ISIS do on their French exam?

They bombed it...

What's the hardest part breaking up with a Japanese girlfriend?

You have to drop the bomb on her twice before she gets it.

Bring Jokes More Bring Jokes

Why did the girl bring 2 basketballs to the basketball game?

Because there was 2 basketball courts. DUH!

Why are oil miners and police men mortal enemies?

One brings black stuff and the other gets rid of it

Cause Jokes More Cause Jokes

Why'd the mushroom go to the party?

Cause he's a fungi! Why'd the fungi leave the party Cause there wasn't mushroom!

Why do scuba divers roll backwards out of the boat?

Cause if they rolled forwards, they would still be in the boat.

Avoid Jokes More Avoid Jokes

What brand should suicidal people clearly avoid?

Nike. Their motto says just "Just do it".

Why do ISIS fighters avoid Montreal restaurants?

because they serve Poutine.

Plane Jokes More Plane Jokes

What's the difference between most people and planes?

Most people miss the twin towers.

How was 9/11 an inside job?

If the planes came from the outside.

Good Way Jokes More Good Way Jokes

What is a good way to describe a tailor that refuses to make clothing for nuns?

Non-habit forming

What's a good way to get gum out of your hair?

Getting diagnosed with cancer.

Odd Jokes More Odd Jokes

Why can't two even numbers be together?

The odds are against them.

Which one is the odd one out; a Crab, a Tuna, a Chinese man run over by a bus or a Lobster?

A tuna, because the rest of them are crustaceans.

Flight Jokes More Flight Jokes

What do you call a flight commandeered by pirates?

A peg leg.

How do you get rid of somebody?

Give them a ticket for a flight on Malaysian Airlines and hope that they will live up to their reputation!