What is the difference between a baby and a onion?

No one cries when you chop up the baby.

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Difference Jokes More Difference Jokes

What's the difference between Darth Vader and Tom Brady?

Darth Vader probably gets high fived

What's the difference between Ethiopians and gorillas?

Nobody cares about Ethiopians dying. (First post on r/jokes and a bit offensive)

Cry Jokes More Cry Jokes

Why did the apple cry?

A: Its peelings were hurt.

Where you see yourself in 5 years?

Doing your job. "And me " Jobless and upset about the divorce "OMG" *runs out crying*

Baby Jokes More Baby Jokes

Why can't ghosts make babies?

They have hollow weenies! .... And I'll just see myself out.

Why can't ghosts have babies?

They have hollow weenies!

Onion Jokes More Onion Jokes

What's the difference between a baby and an onion?

I cry when I chop an onion.

What do you need to make a crystal salad?

Onions, tomatoes, and a whole bunch of lattice

Chop Jokes More Chop Jokes

Why did the alcoholic chop off the little boy's legs?

He wanted his *Kidneys*.

What do french fries and friends have in common?

They both die if you chop them