What is the difference between a baby and a onion?

No one cries when you chop up the baby.

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Difference Jokes More Difference Jokes

What's the difference between the Olympic long distance race and the Paralympic long distance race?

A lap

What is the difference between confident and confidential?

Dad says: "You are my son, I'm confident about that. Your friend over there, is also my son, THAT is confidential.

Cry Jokes More Cry Jokes

Why are people so sore about Russia taking the Crimea?

I mean cry me a river river right

What do you call an alien starship that drips water?

A crying saucer.

Baby Jokes More Baby Jokes

What's your favorite song?

Me, to a baby wearing a Metallica shirt at the grocery store.

What do you call a baby born at 4 months gestation?

Doesn't matter, still born.

Onion Jokes More Onion Jokes

What makes a chef sadder the skinnier it gets?

A: An onion.

What what can you make from baked beans and onions?

A: Tear gas.

Chop Jokes More Chop Jokes

What's worse than dropping a scope of ice cream?

Dropping 2 scoops of ice cream. What's worse than dropping 2 scoops of ice cream? Getting a hand chopped off. What's worse than getting a hand chopped off? Getting both hands chopped off. What's worse than getting both hands chopped off? The Holocaust. What's worse than the Holocaust? Dropping 3 scoops of ice cream.

What did the cannibal say when he came home and found his wife chopping up a python and a pygmy?

Oh no not snake and pygmy pie again!