What's red and white and screams when you shake it?

A skinned baby in a bag of salt.

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Bag Jokes More Bag Jokes

What's the difference between a four year old and a bag of cocaine?

Eric Clapton would never let a bag of cocaine fall out a window.

How is a push-up bra like a bag of chips?

As soon as you open it, you realize it's half empty.

Scream Jokes More Scream Jokes

What did Helen Keller scream when she got mugged?

Nothing. It was winter and she had mittens on.

How many American golf fans does it take to change a lightbulb?

1001 1 to offer up the bulb and 1000 to scream 'Get in the hole'

Shake Jokes More Shake Jokes

What do you call a fox that can't stop shaking?

Michael

What happens when Anthony Weiner tries to shake someones hand?

They think long and hard before they touch weiner.

Salt Jokes More Salt Jokes

Why couldn't the scientist find salt for his breakfast?

Because it was Na HA! Get it? Because Na=sodium and N/A=not available. Seriously, this is good clean fun.

Why do some people like to date pessimists?

All that salt must make them thirsty.

Skin Baby Jokes More Skin Baby Jokes

What's red and white and screams when you shake it?

A skinned baby in a bag of salt.

What's purple and sequels?

A skinned baby in a bag of salt. *squeals