What's the difference between a vampire and a cookie?

You can't dip a vampire in your tea.

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Difference Jokes More Difference Jokes

What's the difference between Mick Jagger and a Scottish Highlander?

Mick Jagger sings, "Hey you, get off of my cloud . . ", while the Scottish Highlander yells, "Hey McCloud, get off of my ewe!"

What's the difference between a baby and a washing machine?

A washing machine doesn't cry when it takes a load.

Tea Jokes More Tea Jokes

How does Sherlock prefer his tea?

Steeped in mystery!

What did the host say after her guest complimented her on her tea?

Thanks, it's my special tea.

Dip Jokes More Dip Jokes

How do you know when you have a good redneck girlfriend?

If she can give you oral with a dip in and know which to swallow and which to spit.

What does the Pope dip his chips in?

Holy Guacamole

Vampire Jokes More Vampire Jokes

Why did the vampire sit on a pumpkin?

It wanted to play squash.

Why do Vampires hate Writers?

Because they hate Type O's

Cookie Jokes More Cookie Jokes

Who ate all the cookies?

5-year-old: Ninjas. Me: I didn't see them. 5-year-old: No one ever does. Checkmate.

Why was the cookie monster arrested for computer hacking?

He was in possession of all the "COOKIES"