What's this ticket, officer?

Loitering "I didn't drop trash" - No. Loitering. "You talk funny" - It's not- "I'm putting this on Twoiter"

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Talk Jokes More Talk Jokes

What did the cat say to the human after being hit with a baseball bat?

Nothing. Cats don't freaking talk.

Why are dogs and engineers alike ?

They both have intelligent eyes, but neither can talk properly.

Drop Jokes More Drop Jokes

What do you call an attractive zombie?

Drop dead gore-geous!

Why did Johnny drop his ice cream?

Because he got hit by a truck!

Trash Jokes More Trash Jokes

Why was this in the trash?

Me: 6: Me: It was too good. I didn't want to make your sisters jealous.

Why was Hillary thrown out of a restaurant?

She trashed the bill. Alt punch line 1 (u/Causative): She demanded her own private server and tried to have her meals removed.

Officer Jokes More Officer Jokes

What am I supposed to do with this speeding ticket?

Officer, "Keep it, when you collect four of them, you get a bicycle."

How many British navy Officers does it take to change a light bulb?

A: Only one but it takes him seven weeks to get there.

Ticket Jokes More Ticket Jokes

Why did the egg get a ticket from a lady police officer?

Because he was picking up good vibrations.

How many IT people does it take to change a light bulb?

Do you have a ticket for that?