What two things look exactly the opposite but mean exactly the same?

9/11 and 11/9 - darkest days in American history

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Look Jokes More Look Jokes

What's bright, red and orange and looks good on hippies?

Fire.

What do I look like?

A typewriter "

Thing Jokes More Thing Jokes

Why does Islam get angry if you criticize their religion?

Im not sure they always seem to blow things up out of proportion.

What's the most common activity people do while wearing safety vests?

Reflect! I use this dadjoke on my pregnant wife every day when she goes out for walks after dark and wears a safety vest.. 'Now honey, don't forget to reflect on all sorts of things, especially car headlights!'

American Jokes More American Jokes

Which American president was not guilty?

Lincoln, he was in a cent

What do you call an elevator with a group of slim, softly spoken, intelligent people inside?

A Lift (only a joke, my American friends)

911 Jokes More 911 Jokes

What's the difference between 9/11 and a dead cow?

You can't keep milking the dead cow for 13 years

Why can't a blonde dial 911?

Q: Why can't a blonde dial 911? A: She can't find the eleven.

Mean Jokes More Mean Jokes

What's your favorite word?

5-Year-Old: Empathy! I don't even know what it means! Me- I know how you feel.

Who sang the song "my own worst enemy"?

Them: I think it's Lit Me: I mean I like the song but I wouldn't call it lit...

119 Jokes More 119 Jokes

What two things look exactly the opposite but mean exactly the same?

9/11 and 11/9 - darkest days in American history

Why do Americans order their dates Month/Day/Year?

Because 11/9 just doesn't have the same ring to it.

American History Jokes More American History Jokes

What two things look exactly the opposite but mean exactly the same?

9/11 and 11/9 - darkest days in American history

What do you call the most successful vasectomist in American history?

American Snipper