What weighs more than a car and uses a lot of fuel, but hardly ever moves?

Your mom.

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Car Jokes More Car Jokes

What sort of a car has your dad got?

I can't remember the name. I think it starts with T. Really - Ours only starts with gas.

Why does a Belgian have a knife in his car?

To cut the corners!

Use Jokes More Use Jokes

What do you do when your girlfriend starts smoking?

You slow down and use lube ( )

What Social Media site do the undead use?

Tomblr.

Mom Jokes More Mom Jokes

How many times do I have to tell you this Mom?

I have thousands of fans who need to know my thoughts. So, no I can't take out the garbage.

What does my mom and a turkey have in common?

They both died on Thanksgiving

Lot Jokes More Lot Jokes

Why are fish so educated?

Because a lot of them are in schools.

What kind of farm has lots of books but no livestock?

Barns and no-bulls. (This joke was made up by my 7 year-old cousin.)

Fuel Jokes More Fuel Jokes

What do you call a vehicle with no fuel in Africa?

Outtagascar

What to Australian Trains use as fuel?

Coal-Ala

Weigh Jokes More Weigh Jokes

How do you get an elephant in to a plastic bag?

First you take the 'T' out of 'Tesco', what do you get Esco. Then you take the 'F' out of 'Weigh', what do you get

What weighs 35 tons has four fuzzy ears and is 80 million years old?

Two rabbits riding a brontosaurus.