Why can't you tell puns to a kleptomaniac?

because they take everything literally (p.s. you can steal this joke if you want)

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Want Jokes More Want Jokes

Why don't you want to hang out with a dude from Chicago?

Because 'Illinois you!

What do you want to be when you leave college?

Student: "Alive".

Pun Jokes More Pun Jokes

What did they start calling Kim Jong Un after he shed 60 kgs in weight?

Kim Jong Un what you thought it was Slim Jong Un? Sorry but you are not allowed to make puns on your supreme leader's name in North Korea

What's the difference between a pun and a copy of Cliff's Notes?

A pun is a play on words, while Cliff's notes are a word on plays

Tell Jokes More Tell Jokes

How can you tell if Chuck Norris ate rabbits the night before?

He has claw marks on his forehead.

How can you tell you have a really bad case of acne?

It is when the blind try to read your face

Joke Jokes More Joke Jokes

What's the difference between /r/funny and /r/jokes?

is funny and is a joke!

What do you call a fuzzy animal that grows on trees?

A root bear! (I came up with this joke a few minutes ago. I hope it's funny)

Steal Jokes More Steal Jokes

What would you tell someone who is attempting to steal your cheese (hint: not "nacho cheese")?

Leave my provolone!

What did the Jamaican man say when asked why he didn't mind going to jail for stealing the Pikachu card?

I love the pokey, mon.

Kleptomaniac Jokes More Kleptomaniac Jokes

Why don't kleptomaniacs get puns?

Because they always take things literally.

Why did the kleptomaniac dislike the insultingly boisterous man with a cleft palate?

He couldn't take any more lip!

P.S. Jokes More P.S. Jokes

How do you get banned from a subreddit without breaking the rules?

Post something humorous in . P.S: Is there anyway to ungild myself?

What did the English teacher write when she needed to borrow money?

An AE I.O.U. P.S. Im proud of this one :3