Why do Physicists make terrible parents?

They think their children are small enough to neglect! Adapted from a Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal, I forget which one.

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Think Jokes More Think Jokes

What do you think of my tweets?

Wife: They're all pretty terrible. Me: Don't you have ANYTHING positive to say Wife: You're consistent.

What did they do to the burger who thought he was a rooster?

Cook-a-doodle-do!

Child Jokes More Child Jokes

What do Disney movies and coathangers have in common?

They can both bring out the child from within.

What do you call children born of ginger people?

Ginger-bred

Forget Jokes More Forget Jokes

What could possibly make moviegoers forget about Will Smith's movie After Earth?

A Concussion.

Why was Biggie hungry at school?

He forgot Tupac his lunch!

Physicist Jokes More Physicist Jokes

Why didn't the physicist like his cheesecake?

Because the quark had a strange flavour

Why is the physicist not worried about his weight?

Because m = AIt

Saturday Jokes More Saturday Jokes

Why do brunettes know so many blonde jokes?

A: Gives 'em something to do on Saturday night!

What are the strongest days of the week?

Saturday and Sunday. The rest are weekdays.

Neglect Jokes More Neglect Jokes

What do you call a man on your porch?

Mat. I neglected to mention he has no arms or legs.

Who said that just because I tried to kiss you at last month's Christmas party, you could neglect to do your work around here?

Secretary: My lawyer.