Why don't math majors like to drink alcohol?

Because they don't like to drink and derive.

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Why does a blonde keep empty beer bottles in her fridge?

They are for those who don't drink!

Why does ISIS only drink drip coffee?

Because they hate French Press!

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What game do 18 dogs like to play during the summer?

Woofleball

Why do ghosts like to ride elevators?

It lifts their spirits.

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What did the calculus teacher tell the crew of his submarine while they were diving?

Derive, derive, derive!

How does a mathematician get to work?

He derives!

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How loud can you talk?

Alcohol

Why did the Chemistry Teacher go to Jail?

He got caught giving alcohol to minors.

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What insect is good at math?

A: An account-ant.

How does a cow do math?

With a cowculator!

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What exactly is going on?

I asked. He replied, "A Major engineering feet."

Why don't math majors like to drink alcohol?

Because they don't like to drink and derive.