Why is Edward Snowden still in Russia?

The airport is Snowden

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Why couldn't the NSA leave their houses?

They got Snowden.

What does a whistle-blower do during a Russian blizzard?

Nothing, he's Snowden.

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What does it take to be a president of Russia?

Be a Viktor, then you are Devinitely In

What fabric is worn in Soviet Russia?

Linen

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Why was the airport depressed?

It had a terminal illness.

What did the DJ say to the jazz musician?

Take me to the airport.

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Why is Edward Snowden still in Russia?

The airport is Snowden

Why is Edward Snowden stuck in Russia?

Because he's snowed-in