Why is Edward Snowden still in Russia?

The airport is Snowden

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Why couldn't the man leave Moscow?

He was Snowden.

Why was the whistleblower late for his annual winter whistleblower's convention?

Because he was Snowden!

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Why didn't Russia return the NSA whistleblower to the United States?

He was Snowden.

What did the whistleblower say after the blizzard in Russia?

I'm Snowden!

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Why did Ahmed Mohamed get delayed at the airport?

he was on a watch list...

Why do arabs use Colgate before going to the airport?

because it provides cavity protection

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What do Aaron Hernandez and Edward Snowden have in common?

They're both expatriots (expatriates).

Why is Edward Snowden stuck in Russia?

Because he's snowed-in