Because it's two gross! (A gross is a measurement unit for "144". So 2 * 144 = 288. Or "two gross".)
Tell him he's a duck.
One is weasely identifiable while the other is stoatally different.
Because they cantaloupe. This joke was brought to you by Dads inc.
Al-redi-reddi-tt.
Because he is 2 square.
A huge mess.
Canta Plaus.
Everywhere!
None. Mice can't change light-bulbs as they are mere rodents without the physical or mental ability to do so. Not to mention it's much safer for them to pilfer food in the dark.