Why was the monster standing on his head?

He was turning things over in his mind.

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Turn Jokes More Turn Jokes

What is the best thing about gaffer tape ?

It turns "no, no, no" into "mmm, mmm, mmm"

What's a machinists favorite song?

Turn Down for What!

Thing Jokes More Thing Jokes

What is the thing called that irrigates your lawn?

A garden Jose.

Why did Helen Keller stop cleaning her dishes?

She was running out of things to read.

Mind Jokes More Mind Jokes

What would Caitlyn Jenner need to do if she changed her mind about being a woman?

She would need to reJennerate some balls. What does Caitlyn Jenner do before she goes out Bruce's up for the evening.

Why was 6 afraid of 11?

Because 11 snaps people's necks with her mind.

Stand Jokes More Stand Jokes

What does FIAT stand for?

Fix It Again Tony

How do black people die from a drive by?

Everytime someone screams "get down! " they stand up and start dancing!

Head Jokes More Head Jokes

What do you call an American with a lavatory on his head ?

John.

Why do successful lettuce farmers always get women?

Because everyone knows they give good *head*.

Monster Jokes More Monster Jokes

How did Dr Frankenstein pay the men who built his monster?

On a piece rate.

What do you get if you cross a monster with a flea?

Lots of very worried dogs.