Why was the monster standing on his head?

He was turning things over in his mind.

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Turn Jokes More Turn Jokes

What's the difference between a white girl who likes to tan and a burger?

They both need to be flipped every 10 mins, but only one turns pink when its done.

What do the Dallas Cowboys do when they win the Superbowl?

Turn off their Nintendo and go to bed.

Thing Jokes More Thing Jokes

Why are fish so gullible?

They fall for things hook line and sinker!

Why did the arborist plant new pine trees on their front lawn?

To spruce things up a bit.

Mind Jokes More Mind Jokes

What do your mother and a marathon have in common?

They are both doable as long as you don't mind following a bunch of black guys.

Why was the physicist being so careful not to insult his colleague's choice of generalized coordinates and momentum?

He was just minding his Ps and Qs.

Stand Jokes More Stand Jokes

What do you call a person who you had a one night stand with on Mars?

A solmate

How many narcissists does it take to screw in a light-bulb?

One. He stands in place while the whole world revolves around him.

Head Jokes More Head Jokes

What do a Marionette User and Tampon Thief have in common?

They both pull strings for work. (Inspired by Bo Burnham, this popped into my head the other day)

What's that terribly ugly thing on your shoulders?

Harry: Help! What is it Fred: Your head!

Monster Jokes More Monster Jokes

What did the oyster say when the monster broke into his home?

Shucks

What do you call a monster with two wooden heads?

Edward Woodward.