Leave Turn Jokes

Why can't Matthew McConaughey make a left turn?

Because he's .

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How do you tell a dyslectic to take the left turn on the road?

Turn toward your side!

What do white nationalists call three left turns?

An alt-right

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Begin Jokes More Begin Jokes

What did the mother of the guy who broke his arms say at the beginning of every 'session'?

ssh bby is ok

Why did the elephant jump in the lake when it began to rain ?

To stop getting wet !

Sun Jokes More Sun Jokes

Why doesn't the sun need to go to University?

He's too bright.

What do you do with a green monster?

Put it in the sun until it ripens!

Shake Jokes More Shake Jokes

What happens when Anthony Weiner tries to shake someones hand?

They think long and hard before they touch weiner.

How do epileptics greet people?

They shake.

Turn Jokes More Turn Jokes

What do Philadelphia Eagles fans do after they win the superbowl?

Turn of madden and go to bed. (I'm an eagles fan)

How do you turn soup into gold?

You add 24 carats!

Upside Jokes More Upside Jokes

What do you do when you see an upside down dolphin?

You flipper!

How do you fit 4 guys on a bar stool?

Turn it upside-down. But how do you get them off Shake the stool. (OK, I'll leave now.)

4 Jokes More 4 Jokes

How do you do it w/ 4 kids?

Hubs: With the door locked. Me: She means how do we manage...but yeah.

How many Irishmen does it take to screw in a light bulb?

5. 1 to screw in the light bulb, and 4 to remark on how grand the old one was.

Leave Jokes More Leave Jokes

How hard do you think Joe Biden laughs when a senate's bill gets 69 votes?

I bet he has to leave the room.

What do you want to be when you leave college?

Student: "Alive".

Good Way Jokes More Good Way Jokes

What's the best way to ensure that Asia's senior citizens' pension programs are financially sound?

Sufficient amount of youth in Asia.

What's the best way to bring out your inner child?

A coat hanger