Neil Jokes

Why did Neil Armstrong get to set foot on the moon before Buzz Aldrin?

They wrestled over it. Neil had the stronger arm.

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What's the most unfortunate name a prisoner can have?

Neil.

What's the difference between Neil Armstrong and Whitney Houston?

Oc The rock Neil was on made him famous, the rock she was on made her dead.

Why did the fish sink?

This joke composed by my seriously autistic friend Neil, who LOVES jokes) Because it was a brick.

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Wrestle Jokes More Wrestle Jokes

Why did Neil Armstrong get to set foot on the moon before Buzz Aldrin?

They wrestled over it. Neil had the stronger arm.

Where do onions wrestle?

Onion rings.

Brick Jokes More Brick Jokes

How do you hire an elephant ?

Stand it on four bricks !

What's the difference between OP and a brick?

A brick gets laid!

Burn Jokes More Burn Jokes

How do you burn an Irishman ear?

Ring him while he's ironing...

What happened to the Irishman who tried to blow up a school bus?

He burned his lips on the exhaust pipe.

2 Jokes More 2 Jokes

How many Arabs does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

1.. 2.. 3.. BOOM

How many musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

A: Twenty. 1 to hold the bulb 2 to turn the ladder and 17 to be on the guest list.

Land Jokes More Land Jokes

What if Superman landed in Mexico instead of Kansas?

He'd be an illegal alien.

What does a dancing piece of land in the middle of nowhere?

Plot twisting!

Credit Jokes More Credit Jokes

How can you tell the difference between a crocodile and an alligator?

One you'll see in a while, the other you'll see later. Credit to Mitch hedburg

What do you call a group of millionaires sitting around watching the NBA finals ?

The Lakers . (Laker fan here. Sorry prob would have been more appropriate last week during the finals. ) Edit: I heard this some where the other day. I can't take credit for the joke .

Difference Jokes More Difference Jokes

What is the difference between a drinking establishment and an elephant's fart?

One is a bar-room and the other is a BAROOOM!

What's the difference between a priest and a chilean mining company?

One gets its miners stuck in shafts, and the other gets its shaft stuck in minors.

Walk Jokes More Walk Jokes

What walks on 8 legs until it's one years old, 4 legs until it's twenty years old and then 2 legs for the remainder of it's life?

Fred and George Weasley.

Who i am?

Boy: No Girl: I'm The Principal's Daughet. Boy: Do You Know Who i am Boy: Good (Walks Away)