New Girlfriend Jokes

How do I turn my new girlfriend on?

She's a robot and the instructions are in Chinese.

Interactive Joke of the Day Mug

Interactive Joke of the Day Mug

Coffee Mug

Why are you so upset?

It's just hair. I'm the one that's gotta find a new girlfriend."

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Find Jokes More Find Jokes

Why couldn't the Duke of Esterhazy find his music composer?

Because he was Haydn.

How do you find white shirts on the Internet?

Use a starch engine.

Turn Jokes More Turn Jokes

What color does your skin turn when you pour molten gold onto it?

Au-burn

What did the pirate say when he turned 80 years old?

Ayeee-Matey

Instruction Jokes More Instruction Jokes

Why do people congratulate you when Mom is the one making the baby?

Me: I helped 5: How Me: 5: Me: I read her the instructions

How do you make a cat go "Woof!"?

Soak it in petrol and put a match to it. (This is a joke, not and instruction, Reddit)

Robot Jokes More Robot Jokes

What is the difference between a robot and a sandwich?

Everything. These two objects have nothing in common.

What did the robot say to the centipede?

Stop being a centipede." Get it, because the robot has no arms! Hahhahaha, gets me everytime.

Chinese Jokes More Chinese Jokes

What's the difference between a corpse and a Chinese baby girl?

5 minutes

Why did the optimistic Chinese guy wish he had multiple personality disorder?

He wanted to be the Changs he wanted to see in the world.

Hair Jokes More Hair Jokes

What shape is your hair in the morning?

A wrecktangle. (Made up by my 10 year old daughter :)

What's the best way to get bubble gum out of your hair?

Cancer