Paul Jokes

Which do you want to hear first?

Paul: I have good news and bad news. Which do you want to hear first? Michael: The good news. Paul: The good news is that I have no bad news.

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What do you call it when Paul scores?

Paulinating.

How did Paul, the octopus, originally die?

Torres went and asked Paul proudly, "How many goals will I end up with after thia this World Cup " Paul died laughing.

What is everyone writing songs about?

John: revolution Paul: forgiveness George: true love Ringo: hmm, a submarine or maybe an octopus

Which England player keeps up the fuel supply?

Paul gas coin!

What did Mrs Revere say when Paul got on a gorilla to warn the farmers that the British were coming?

Paul stop monkeying around!

What do you get when you put Ryan dunn and Paul walker in a porshce?

Dunn Walking!!!

Why did the sweet scented man called Paul change his name to Saul?

He liked the P, but preferred the essence the change.

What did Simon's dad, Paul, say to his son to encourage him just before he went to compete in the National Leg Breaking Championships?

Have a good one, son."

What did everyone think?

STEVE: PAUL: JANE: SARAH: MARK: DAVE:

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Bad News Jokes More Bad News Jokes

Why was the racehorse named Bad News?

Because bad news travels fast!

What's the worst news for a NASCAR driver before a race?

The track is alright."

Paul Walker Jokes More Paul Walker Jokes

What has more brains then Paul Walker?

The steering wheel...

Whats the difference between Paul Walker and Tiger Woods?

Tiger Woods has a better driver.

Die Jokes More Die Jokes

What did the blonde medical student die from?

An aneurysm.

What do you say when someone dies while getting an erection?

He came and went at the same time.

Ask Jokes More Ask Jokes

Why do old people read the bible so much?

I asked my grandad the other day "why do old people read the bible so much?" He replied "cause we're cramming for finals"

What did the Australian grandmaster say to the banker, when asked what he wanted to exchange?

Check, mate!

End Jokes More End Jokes

Where do all the orphan chickens end up?

Foster Farms

What's the difference between a semicolon and a cat?

One has a pause at the end of it's clause, the other has claws at the end of it's paws.

Thing Jokes More Thing Jokes

How do you drive this thing?

Two soldiers are in a tank. One turns to the other and says "GLUGGLUGBLUGBWOOABB"

What do Jay Leno and Payton Manning have in common?

They both know when it's time to turn things over.

Lose Jokes More Lose Jokes

What's the fastest way to lose a few pounds?

Exit the European Union.

What did people call Putin after he lost an arm?

Amputin

Goal Jokes More Goal Jokes

How many goals did Germany score?

A brazillian

Which insect didn't play well in goal ?

The fumble bee !