Trucker Jokes

What do you call a trucker that doesn't drive anymore?

Semi-retired.

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How can you tell that truckers like nuts?

They always have pecans! (Read aloud)

How do truckers contact each other in Wisconsin?

They use a Milwaukee-Talkie

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Tell Jokes More Tell Jokes

How do you keep a idiot waiting?

I'll tell you guys later.

How can you tell if a 14 year old smokes weed?

Just wait. They'll tell you.

Today Jokes More Today Jokes

Why didn't you go to school today?

Little Banana: Because I didn't peel well.

How is today Monday?

It was Friday only a few hours ago...

Hang Jokes More Hang Jokes

How do you catch King Kong?

Hang upside down and make a noise like a banana.

What's pink and wrinkly and hangs out your boxer shorts?

Your grandma.

Mexican Jokes More Mexican Jokes

What do you call a dog that likes Mexican food?

A Qdoberman!!!!!!!!!!

What did Johnny Cash say to the waitress after he got sick at a Mexican restaurant?

I've bean everywhere, ma'am!

Pecan Jokes More Pecan Jokes

What kind of NUT would make a pie for THANKSGIVING?

Pecan, typically.

How can you tell that truckers like nuts?

They always have pecans! (Read aloud)

Drive Jokes More Drive Jokes

What did the pirate say when he had a steering wheel down his pantaloons?

Arr! It's driving me nuts!

What happens when you mock the host of Diners, Drive-In's, and Dives?

The guy gets fierious.

Contact Jokes More Contact Jokes

How do you contact dead window cleaners?

Use a squeegee board.

How will future generations contact Beyonce's ghost?

They'll hold a Beyonceance.

Read Jokes More Read Jokes

Who are some of the best readers in the world?

World Trade Center workers, some of them can read 50 stories in just 8 seconds!

What is the motto of the French navy?

To the water, it is time! Or in french... ... BWA HA HA HA. OK... I know this is kind a dad joke but.... yeah (for those don't speak French and thus don't get this, click the link and click the speaker to have it read to you ;) )