A DHCP packet walks into a bar and asks for a beer.

Bartender says, "here, but I’ll need that back in an hour!"

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Ask Jokes More Ask Jokes

What are we waiting for?

the doctor asks. "Patients, Doctor," replied the nurse. "Patients."

Why shouldn't you ask Jon Snow what time it is?

Because his watch has ended.

Need Jokes More Need Jokes

Why did Dracula need medicine?

Because he was coffin.

Why is Instagram not working?

but "Why does the world need another picture of you " #instagramnotworking

Bar Jokes More Bar Jokes

A ham sandwhich walks into a bar and orders a beer. The bartender says...

I'm sorry, we don't serve food here

Why did the director get kicked out of the bar?

He was making a scene!

Beer Jokes More Beer Jokes

What Einstein say when someone tried to take his beer?

Nein! Mein Stein!....sorry

Why do you have to pee so quickly after you start drinking beer?

Because it doesn't have to stop off to change color!

Hour Jokes More Hour Jokes

What's the difference between mayonnaise and sperm?

Mayonnaise doesn't hit the back if my girlfriend's throat at 60 miles per hour.

What goes 30 miles per hour and smells like curry?

Usain Balti

Bartender Jokes More Bartender Jokes

What did the Canadian eel say when the bartender asked him if he'd had enough?

No, I think I'd like some more-ay.

What did the bartender say to the alien?

You're drunk ET, go home!"