How did the flea learn to use the internet?

He had to start from scratch.

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Start Jokes More Start Jokes

How do you start to politely tell someone that their God isn't in the stars?

Well... If it's any constellation..."

How many countries' flags make an appearance at every auto race in the world?

Two. Libya's to start the race, and France's to signal there's one lap to go.

Use Jokes More Use Jokes

How did God get Mary pregnant?

He used the holy immaculate contraception

What do ghosts use for lube?

Rectoplasm...

Scratch Jokes More Scratch Jokes

What do you give a Greek man with a scratchcard?

A coin to scratch it with.

What would George Washington do if he were alive today?

Scream and scratch at the top of his coffin.

Internet Jokes More Internet Jokes

How did the flea learn to use the internet?

He had to start from scratch.

What do you call it when your lizard doesn't know how to use the internet?

e-reptile dysfunction

Learn Jokes More Learn Jokes

Who needs to watch the #SOTU when I can just read my TL?

Here's what I've learned so far: John Boehner is still orange.

What is another word for children who haven't learned how to do math?

yesallwomen

Flea Jokes More Flea Jokes

What did one flea say to the other flea when they came out of the movies?

A: Should we walk home or take a dog

What do you call two fleas on top of a bald head?

A: Homeless.