How do Vampires buy pants if they can't look in a mirror?

Now, I tweet them

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Look Jokes More Look Jokes

How hard is it to find cigarettes?

Because my dad has been gone for 13 years looking for them.

What the hell are you doing here in my white and gold dress?

No honey, it s not what it looks like."

Buy Jokes More Buy Jokes

What is the difference between a hog and a man?

A: A hog doesn't have to sit in a bar and buy drinks all night just so he can f*** some pig.

What is the most unethical thing you can legally buy?

Nestle products

Pant Jokes More Pant Jokes

Why did the bowler bring two pairs of pants?

He wanted a spare in case he had a split.

When does a Smurf pull his pants down?

Once in a blue moon.

Mirror Jokes More Mirror Jokes

Why did the kids tell jokes to the mirror?

They wanted to see it crack up!

Why did the blonde keep a picture of herself in her room?

A: So she could use it as a mirror.

Vampire Jokes More Vampire Jokes

What do you get if you cross a vampire and a mummy ?

Something you wouldn't want to unwrap !

What's the difference between a vampire with toothache and a rainstorm?

One roars with pain and the other pours with rain.

Tweet Jokes More Tweet Jokes

What do you call it again where you think of a tweet while you're offline so you have to say it out loud?

Conversation

When asked, 'Are you Twittering?

if I'm looking at my phone I now reply, 'No. I am not Twittering,' in a sort of flat monotone. And tweet.