How do you get a puppy to stay the same size forever?

You stop feeding it.

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Puppy Jokes More Puppy Jokes

What did the puppy say when he sat on sand paper?

A: RUFF!

How many puppies does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Do you know yet Me (in a sea of puppies): No, they haven't done it. Bring more

Stop Jokes More Stop Jokes

How do you stop a lawyer from drownng?

Shoot him before he hits the ground

How are babies different from feminists ?

Babies grow up and stop crying

Stay Jokes More Stay Jokes

How do painters stay warm?

They add another coat.

What do agnostic, insomniac dyslexics do at night?

A: Stay awake and wonder if there's a dog

Feed Jokes More Feed Jokes

What did Christa McAuliffe say to her husband before she left her house to board the Challenger space shuttle?

You feed the dogs, and I'll feed the fish."

What's the difference between a musician and a bag of rice?

The bag of rice can feed a family of four.

Size Jokes More Size Jokes

What do you call somebody who is content being average sized?

A happy medium.

How do you make a blonde's brain the size of a pea?

A: Inflate it.