How does that make you feel?

ME: "Mphh mophh wampph." T: Again, this works better if you don't lie face down on the couch.

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Lie Jokes More Lie Jokes

What artistic dog chews a lot and follows the rules of the farm where it lives?

A Chihuahua that can draw and gnaw while obeying the law and lying on straw!

How do you get a ghost to lie perfectly flat?

You use a spirit level.

Work Jokes More Work Jokes

Why did parking tickets increase after Persephone was kidnapped?

Demeter wasn't working.

What do you call a poor photographer who works for a tabloid?

A Pauperazzi

Feel Jokes More Feel Jokes

What's your favorite joke appropriate for a 6-8 year old?

I am a ski instructor and I've recently been teaching these two boys who are 6 and 8 year old brothers. I realized today that I know zero jokes appropriate enough or funny to this demographic. I feel like they think I am super boring. Give me some help to make the chairlift more exciting!!

Why did Snow White go to bed?

She was feeling Sleepy.

Couch Jokes More Couch Jokes

Why couldn't the potato get off the couch?

Because it was baked.

What's the appropriate age to take the electric shock collar off your kid?

My son's 10 years... hold on... OFF THE COUCH! brb... convulsing.

Face Jokes More Face Jokes

Why do you put a baby into a blender feet-first?

So you can see the look on its face. How do you get said baby out of the blender? Tortilla chips.

What products do you use for grooming?

she asked me. Her face looked quite taken aback when I said, "Facebook"

T Jokes More T Jokes

What's brown and furry on the outside, soft moist and tastes good on the inside, begins with "C" and ends with "T", and has a "U" and an "N" in it?

A coconut.

What is Mr. T's nickname for Wednesday?

A: Chump day.