How is a judge like an English teacher?

They both hand out long sentences.

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Hand Jokes More Hand Jokes

Why Did The Man With One Hand Go To The Shopping Centre?

To go to the second hand shop

How did Kim Kardashian get her hands on Liberace's bath robe?

GrammysRedCarpet

Judge Jokes More Judge Jokes

Where r my legal briefs?

Paralegal *hands him his boxers* Judge: lol Jury: We're hung Judge: ha! DA: Balls in your court Judge: DO MORE!

When she got in front of the judge he asked, "first offender?

She replied, "No. First a Gibson, second a Fender."

English Jokes More English Jokes

Why do the English drink warm beer?

Lucas refrigerators.

What is the difference between a English actuary and a Sicilian actuary?

An English actuary can tell you how many people are going to die next year. A Sicilian actuary can give you their names...

English Teacher Jokes More English Teacher Jokes

Why don't English teachers like parole?

They prefer complete sentences.

Why did the English teacher hire a midget geography nut as his lawyer?

He wanted someone who understood and case.

Long Sentence Jokes More Long Sentence Jokes

What's the worlds longest sentence?

I do.

When is an English teacher like a judge?

When she hands out long sentences.