How much of a raise do you need to get the job done?

About five gallons of gasoline," I replied.

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Need Jokes More Need Jokes

Why did the guitarist keep his condoms in his guitar case?

He only needed them after he'd opened it.

Why did Snoop Dogg need an umbrella?

Because he was scared of a Lil' Wayne.

Job Jokes More Job Jokes

What do you call someone who can't find a job?

A Psych major. (Pls list your own response - if you're awake and in America at this time, you should have a pretty good one). Thanks.

Why did you apply for this job?

Me: Because being broke and homeless didn't really call out to me.

Raise Jokes More Raise Jokes

How much does Jesus love you?

Thiiiiiiis much. (Must be said while arms are raised out to side)

Who made this Christmas pudding?

Our chef. He's a little green man who lives in a toadstool. What did he use to make it Elf-raising flour of course.

Reply Jokes More Reply Jokes

What's your favourite priest and a rabbi joke?

Been awhile since I've her some priest and a rabbi jokes. Hit me with your best one! Mine: a priest and a rabbi are waking down the street The priest asks " wanna screw some kids?" The rabbi replies "out if what?"

When a hot blonde walks in. The one lawyer says, "Man, wouldn't you like to screw that?

and the other lawyer replies, "Outta what "

Gasoline Jokes More Gasoline Jokes

How do you make a cat go 'woof'?

Douse it in gasoline and set it alight.

What country most despises cars that run on gasoline?

Mad-at-gas-cars!

Gallon Jokes More Gallon Jokes

What did the gallon of pasteurized milk say to the other?

No homo."

What do a gallon of milk and the city of Carthage have in common?

Ideally you only have to sack them once, but we should probably sack them again for good measure.