How much of a raise do you need to get the job done?

About five gallons of gasoline," I replied.

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Need Jokes More Need Jokes

Who needs whips and chains?

Christian should have had Ana read Fifty Shades of Grey if he wanted to torture her.

What machine do you need to make a girl fall in love with you ?

An ATM machine

Job Jokes More Job Jokes

What did the scarecrow say when asked about his job?

This job isn't for everyone, but hay...it's in my jeans"

Why don't astronauts keep their jobs very long?

Because as soon as they start they get fired.

Raise Jokes More Raise Jokes

Why do oysters enjoy being cooked?

It raises their shellfish steam.

What's a bicyclists favorite letter?

A! (hands raised up)

Reply Jokes More Reply Jokes

How about an autograph mate?

Sure." He replied. So I signed a photo print of myself and gave it to him.

Why do you have a pear on your head?

He replies, "It's not a peach, it's a plum!"

Gasoline Jokes More Gasoline Jokes

What country most despises cars that run on gasoline?

Mad-at-gas-cars!

What's the difference between water and gasoline?

In Flint Michigan you can get gasoline that is unleaded.

Gallon Jokes More Gallon Jokes

What do a gallon of milk and the city of Carthage have in common?

Ideally you only have to sack them once, but we should probably sack them again for good measure.

What did the gallon of pasteurized milk say to the other?

No homo."