How to raise a kid?

I injected my kid with yeast and put him in the oven for 30 minutes but he didn't rise. Any suggestions

Previous Random Joke Next
Kid Jokes More Kid Jokes

Why didn't the feminist shave her arm pits?

Just kidding, just wanted to rile a few people up. But if you want to have a punchline contest, feel free.

What do you call a kid with no friends!?

A Sandy Hook survivor!!

Rise Jokes More Rise Jokes

What's the similarity of a dough and a human?

If they are thick, they have a hard time to rise

What is better than a rose on a guitarist?

Tulips on my pianist.

Raise Jokes More Raise Jokes

What do you call someone who raises the dead by giving them hickeys?

A Neckromancer

Why do blacks raise chickens?

To teach their kids how to walk.

Oven Jokes More Oven Jokes

How do you fix a womans watch?

You dont. There is a clock on the oven.

Why shouldn't you put a baby in the microwave?

Because you get better results from slowly roasting it in the oven.

30 Minute Jokes More 30 Minute Jokes

How do you hear a hormone?

Pay $100 for 30 minutes

How long do you need to put the turkey in the oven for?

Mine was dead within 30 minutes (credit goes to my Grandma)

Inject Jokes More Inject Jokes

What do you get when you inject a goat with human DNA?

A ban from the petting zoo.

What do you get... What do you get when you try to inject Human DNA into a goat?

Banned from the petting zoo, apparently.

Yeast Jokes More Yeast Jokes

What did the baker say about her co-worker who never sleeps and always smells funky?

At yeast he's a fungi.

Where do the bacteria gangsters hang out?

On the Yeast Side.

Suggestion Jokes More Suggestion Jokes

How to raise a kid?

I injected my kid with yeast and put him in the oven for 30 minutes but he didn't rise. Any suggestions

Why are highly successful people named Mark always so depressed?

Because they can't stop hitting themselves. This joke came to me while I was half asleep this morning. I'm not sure how original it is. I probably heard some variation of it somewhere and have just forgotten. Any suggestions for improving it?