How to raise a kid?

I injected my kid with yeast and put him in the oven for 30 minutes but he didn't rise. Any suggestions

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Kid Jokes More Kid Jokes

What's the difference between woman's breasts and a box of matches?

The matches are made for adults, but kids constantly grab'em and play with them. The situation is quite opposite with breasts.

What has six eyes but cannot see?

Three men in a house with dirty dishes in the sink, laundry that needs to be folded and kids that need a bath

Rise Jokes More Rise Jokes

Why is unemployment rising in Jamaica?

Because they're jahbless!

What happens when the president of the United States has to use the bathroom?

The state of alert in the White House rises to Defecate 2.

Raise Jokes More Raise Jokes

Why do oysters enjoy being cooked?

It raises their shellfish steam.

What's the difference between a black dad and a elevator?

A elevator can raise a kid

Oven Jokes More Oven Jokes

Why did the computer programmer put his brownies back in the oven?

They were too GUI.

Whats the hardest part about cooking vegetable?

getting the wheelchair in the oven.

30 Minute Jokes More 30 Minute Jokes

How do you hear a hormone?

Pay $100 for 30 minutes

Why does your face look like a donut?

me 30 minutes into dieting

Inject Jokes More Inject Jokes

What is green and goes a hundred miles per hour?

A fuel injected pickle.

What do you get when you inject human DNA to a goat?

A permanent ban from the petting zoo

Yeast Jokes More Yeast Jokes

What does the British monarchy and yeast have in common?

They're both inbred.

What would happen if you ate yeast and polish?

You would rise and shine.

Suggestion Jokes More Suggestion Jokes

Why are highly successful people named Mark always so depressed?

Because they can't stop hitting themselves. This joke came to me while I was half asleep this morning. I'm not sure how original it is. I probably heard some variation of it somewhere and have just forgotten. Any suggestions for improving it?

What would have happened if asians had committed the attacks of 9/11?

10/11 with rice, thanks for your suggestion