What costs you a fortune and leaves you in tears a year and a half later?

Not cancer, but my relationship that just ended today!

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Leave Jokes More Leave Jokes

What kind of doctor never leaves the hospital?

An Oncologist

What's Michelle's favourite vegetable?

Barackoli (I'm sorry I'll leave now...)

Cancer Jokes More Cancer Jokes

What's the difference between feminists and cancer?

Cancer reproduces itself.

What did Timmy get for Christmas?

Cancer

Tear Jokes More Tear Jokes

What did the ancient Greek mother say when her sons toga got torn?

Euripides, Eumenides

Why did the man tear a page out of the calendar?

He wanted to take a month off.

Today Jokes More Today Jokes

What do WNBA players make?

Sandwiches. Friend told me this today and had to share

What is science?

Student: Me Ma'am! Me! Teacher: Ok Pedro! What is science Student: science is our Lesson for today.

End Jokes More End Jokes

Why do all polish names end in SKI ?

They can't spell TOBOGGAN !

What does a bowl of spaghetti and a degree from Phoenix online both have in common?

If it ends up on your wall you're probably retarded.

Cost Jokes More Cost Jokes

What do women and the stock market have in common?

If you don't pull out in time, it will cost you a lot of money. My boss said he made this up on the spot yesterday. Never heard it before so I figured I'd post it.

What are your thoughts on new soup technology?

I say Progresso at any cost.

Relationship Jokes More Relationship Jokes

Why shouldn't a dentist and manicurist be in a relationship?

All they will do is fight tooth and nail!

What do you call 3 knights in a relationship?

Polyarmory

Fortune Jokes More Fortune Jokes

Why do LEGO men hate going to hospital...?

Because plastic surgery costs a fortune!

How many tunes should the bard play?

Fortunes.