What costs you a fortune and leaves you in tears a year and a half later?

Not cancer, but my relationship that just ended today!

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Leave Jokes More Leave Jokes

What does every "Tickle Me Elmo" get before they leave the factory?

Two test tickles

Why do women have legs for?

To not leave a snail trail behind them.

Cancer Jokes More Cancer Jokes

What type of cancer is an anarchist immune to?

Prostate

How did the clock get cancer?

Second-hand smoke!

Tear Jokes More Tear Jokes

What's the best part about showering with a 5 year-old?

The water washes away her tears

What do you call a tear in the American flag?

An old glory hole.

Today Jokes More Today Jokes

Why did the train go left?

Cause it couldn't get on the right track. I made that joke when I was little and remembered it today, might as well post it.

How did the sperm cross the road?

I put the wrong socks on today.

End Jokes More End Jokes

What four letter word starts with F ends in K and if you can't get it you have to use your hands or fingers...?

A fork

What has 6 letters, starts with 'P', and ends a sentence?

Parole.

Cost Jokes More Cost Jokes

What costs you more the less you spend on it?

A divorce lawyer.

How much did the cannibal pay for his new sports car?

I don't know but I heard it cost him an arm and a leg.

Relationship Jokes More Relationship Jokes

What do you call 3 knights in a relationship?

Polyarmory

What is my relationship?

Alex: No sorry tha- glares at wife I'll take YOU RUINED MY LIFE KAREN for $800 Alex

Fortune Jokes More Fortune Jokes

Where do fortune tellers keep the fortunes?

Crystal balls deep made this up.

Why did Vana White run off the stage of Wheel of Fortune?

She had a bowel movement during her vowel movement.