Relationship Jokes

Why did the relationship between two parallel lines never worked out?

It never worked out because they never met

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What do you call a dinosaur who just got out of a relationship?

Tyrannosaurus Ex

What costs you a fortune and leaves you in tears a year and a half later?

Not cancer, but my relationship that just ended today!

What fuels electronics but drains a relationship?

Battery

What is a relationship?

It's the one that always sinks....

Why did Romeo and Juliet break up?

They were in a relationship!

What's the relationship between the pound, the dollar, and the ruble?

A pound of rubles is worth one dollar.

How are relationships like algebra?

You look at your X and try to find out Y

What do you call a relationship that never works out between guitarists?

No strings attached

Why do horses have such a low divorce rate?

Because they're all in relationships!

What's a similarity between obese people, and my relationships with women?

They don't work out.

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What do Super Mario Brothers, and relationships have in common?

Sometimes you have to slay a few dragons before you get to the princess

What is important in relationships?

Reflexivity and transitivity.

What's longer than most relationships these days?

This status.

Why is it a bad idea to get in a relationship with a statue?

Because it's not going anywhere.

What is hard to get from Straight men?

Straight answers about relationships.

Why do mathematicians have a hard time moving on in relationships?

Because they're always trying to find the x. They don't know y, either.

What is your relationship with the plaintiff?

A: She is my daughter. Judge: Was she your daughter on February 13 1979

Why shouldn't a dentist and manicurist be in a relationship?

All they will do is fight tooth and nail!

Why is it so hard to get into a relationship with an SJW?

Because they have high double standards.

What do you call 3 knights in a relationship?

Polyarmory

What's a man's idea of honestly in a relationship?

A. Telling you his real name.

What did the number do when it divided from its companion?

Changed its status from 'In A Relationship' to 'Single'.

What's the difference between tequila, and all of my relationships?

Tequila never goes bad

What is my relationship?

Alex: No sorry tha- glares at wife I'll take YOU RUINED MY LIFE KAREN for $800 Alex

Why don't some couples go to the gym?

Because some relationships don't work out.

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What do you call a video game that gives cancer?

Tombr Aider

What did the deaf, blind dumb kid get for Christmas?

Cancer.

Meet Jokes More Meet Jokes

How did the tiny frozen dinner meet the little kid's belly?

microwave

What happens if Ramsay Bolton met Samwell Tarly's girlfriend?

Gilly suit

Cost Jokes More Cost Jokes

Why do LEGO men hate going to hospital...?

Because plastic surgery costs a fortune!

What costs you more the less you spend on it?

A divorce lawyer.

Juliet Jokes More Juliet Jokes

Why did Romeo and Juliet break up?

They were in a relationship!

What is Romeo and Juliet's least favorite fruit?

Can't- elope!

String Jokes More String Jokes

What did the string say when the rope proposed marriage?

Let's knot."

Why didn't the string get anything for Christmas?

Because he was knotty!

Tear Jokes More Tear Jokes

Why are we running so fast?

asked one. "Because" said the second "it says 'tear along the dotted line'!"

What did Eric Clapton do after he wrote Tears in Heaven?

Threw his baby out the window.

Ruble Jokes More Ruble Jokes

What's the difference between a ruble and a dollar?

One dollar

What's the relationship between the pound, the dollar, and the ruble?

A pound of rubles is worth one dollar.

Guitarist Jokes More Guitarist Jokes

Why did the guitarist leave his guitar on the ground?

It didn't have any pickups

What's black and blue and laying in a ditch?

A: A guitarist who'd told too many drummer jokes.