Guitarist Jokes

Why did the guitarist get life in prison?

He fingered a minor.

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What's the difference between a guitarist and a pizza?

A pizza can feed a family of four

Why didn't the guitarist get laid?

Because he had bad pickups

What do you call a relationship that never works out between guitarists?

No strings attached

What is better than a rose on a guitarist?

Tulips on my pianist.

What do you call a guitarist without a girlfriend?

Homeless.

Why did the guitarist keep his condoms in his guitar case?

He only needed them after he'd opened it.

What does a guitarist say when he gets to his gig?

Would you like fries with that?"

What's the fastest way to make money as a guitarist?

By selling your guitar.

Why did the guitarist leave his guitar on the ground?

It didn't have any pickups

Why do guitarists put drumsticks on the dash of their car?

So they can park in the handicapped spot.

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What's black and blue and laying in a ditch?

A: A guitarist who'd told too many drummer jokes.

How do you know a guitarist is sad?

They start to fret.

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What do you call an inspiring jerk session?

A stroke of genius!

What do you get when einstein jacks off?

a stroke of genius!!!!! (its terrible, i know)

1 Jokes More 1 Jokes

How do you know Justin Bieber is Canadian?

Only a Canadian could get a #1 on Billboard with a song called Sorry.

What does that clock say at 1 o'clock night?

1 AM feeling very sleepy.

Girlfriend Jokes More Girlfriend Jokes

What's red, 10 inches long, and makes my girlfriend cry when I try to put it in her mouth?

Her miscarriage. sorry.

What do North Korea and my girlfriend have in common?

Neither want me coming inside them.

Pizza Jokes More Pizza Jokes

What pizza topping to Koreans enjoy the most?

Pupperoni

How fast can you order a pizza?

HER: I don't- ME: *hits buzzer* NEXT

Throw Jokes More Throw Jokes

What is the difference between Reddit and children's television?

Children don't throw tantrums when there's a rerun of some content.

How do Asian's name their children?

Throw a frying pan down the stairs and listen to the sounds. *Ting tong tow*

Relationship Jokes More Relationship Jokes

What is my relationship?

Alex: No sorry tha- glares at wife I'll take YOU RUINED MY LIFE KAREN for $800 Alex

What's longer than most relationships these days?

This status.

Light Bulb Jokes More Light Bulb Jokes

How many ants does it take to screw in a light bulb?

A light bulb weighs about 50g and a single ant can lift about .2g, so it takes somewhere around 250 ants working together.

How many Norwegians does it take to change a light bulb?

They don't bother, you can find lutfisk in the dark.

Finger Jokes More Finger Jokes

What did Sam say to the young Americans?

Guess where this finger's going."

Why did the vampire stand at the bus stop with his finger up his nose?

He was a ghoulsnif fer.