What did the mayonnaise say to the man opening the fridge door?

Don't look. I'm dressing."

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Man Jokes More Man Jokes

What did the man say after he forgot to pull out?

I regret nutting!!!

Why didn't the man buy Velcro shoes?

because they were a rip off

Look Jokes More Look Jokes

How many librarians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

I don't know but I can look it up for you."

What's it called when you look in the mirror and say "jesus christ I look good"?

Using the lords name in vanity

Dress Jokes More Dress Jokes

What do you call a gnome who dresses nice?

A metronome!

Why do girls take 45 minutes to get dressed?

The only improvement you can make is getting undressed.

Open Jokes More Open Jokes

How do you open a door underwater?

You swimming pull

What is the easiest way for a stressed astronaut to unwind and decompress?

By opening the door.

Mayonnaise Jokes More Mayonnaise Jokes

What did the illiterate Mexican say to the funny looking bottle of mayonnaise?

LMAO"

What do you get when you combine mayonnaise and bologne?

Bolognese sauce

Fridge Door Jokes More Fridge Door Jokes

Why should you always knock on your fridge door before opening it?

Because there could be an Italian dressing inside.

What did the mayonnaise say to the man opening the fridge door?

Don't look. I'm dressing."