What did the String Theorist say when his wife caught him in bed with another woman?

Wait, I can explain everything!

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Bed Jokes More Bed Jokes

Why was the lizard nervous in bed?

He had reptile dysfuncton

What did the Hungarian man say before he went to bed?

I'm going to bed." Except he said it in Hungarian.

Wife Jokes More Wife Jokes

What about our child ?

Wife: What What child Husband: So you are not pregnant

Why doesn't Stephen Hawking need a wife?

Because he has his own shoulder to cry on. Edit: all credit goes to /u/Earleebird who posted it in a comment in /r/oldschoolcool

Explain Jokes More Explain Jokes

Why was the kleptomaniac frustrated by that joke "why can't you explain puns to kleptomaniacs?

He couldn't take a joke.

How do you explain a man birthing a baby?

Taco bell for lunch

Catch Jokes More Catch Jokes

How did the bad Canadian fisherman describe his only catch of the day?

Aboot this big"

Why didn't Pinocchio make it thru puberty?

He caught on fire.

Woman Jokes More Woman Jokes

How can you tell this joke was submitted by a woman?

No, wait.

What is the similarity between women and garbagebags?

You fill them up and toss them out the door!

Wait Jokes More Wait Jokes

Why wait?

I'll take you clothes shopping right now".

What's common between Marriage &amp a Port-a-potty?

There are those who are waiting to get in it and then you have those wanting too get out of it.