What do a wedding and a funeral have in common?

At the end of the day, a stiff gets buried either way.

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Bury Jokes More Bury Jokes

What do you call 1000 black people buried up to their necks?

Afroturf Also, I'm not racist. I have two color tvs at home.

Why are politicians buried 6 feet under?

Because deep down, they're good people.

Day Jokes More Day Jokes

Why do I always seem to start my day backwards?

I wake up tired and I go to bed wide awake

Why are there school shootings?

Mr.Garrison: "Let's start the day with a world news question. Why are there school shootings?" The media: "Violent video games?" Mr.Garrison: "Okay, now lets try to get an answer from someone who's not a complete retard.

End Jokes More End Jokes

Why shouldn't you ask Jon Snow what time it is?

Because his watch has ended.

When does feminism end?

When Islam begins.

Funeral Jokes More Funeral Jokes

Whose funeral was this photo taken at?

John, serious tone: "I dunno. Let's see who's missing" possible funniest thing john has said

What happened when the carrot died?

There was a huge turnip at the funeral.

Wedding Jokes More Wedding Jokes

Why couldn't the two melons go to Las Vegas for their wedding?

Because they're cantaloupes.

Why people cry during the weddings?

they are preparing for whats coming afterwards

End Day Jokes More End Day Jokes

Why is it socially acceptable to wear a bikini at the beach but not on the bus?

At the end of the day I'm just a guy in a bikini on the bus.

What will I have at the end of the day?

Three bags of skittles and a small body to hide.