What do they tell Soviet children who want to achieve their dreams?

Shoot for the Tsars.

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Want Jokes More Want Jokes

What does Garry Newman want to be when he grows up?

Garry Oldman.

What's one thing a man doesn't want to hear the morning after?

Yes, I'm completely sure.

Tell Jokes More Tell Jokes

What do you call someone who tells you they've successfully broken the Law of Excluded Middle?

WRONG.** ... or right, or something in between.

How many Germans does it take screw in a lightbulb?

He said Nein My dads jokes are the wurst I tell you.

Shoot Jokes More Shoot Jokes

How did Brandon Lee's wife get pregnant?

The prop guy said he was shooting blanks!

Why are rubber tires black?

So the police know what to shoot at during a chase

Dream Jokes More Dream Jokes

What's Nigel Farage's favourite Christmas song?

I'm dreaming of a white Christmas.

What do you call it when you dream about getting married?

Bed wedding.

Soviet Jokes More Soviet Jokes

Which country has the most crying people per km?

The Soviet Onion

What is it with Russians and their track suits?

Because back in Soviet day, suit track you.

Achieve Jokes More Achieve Jokes

What's the best part about being cremated?

Finally achieving a smokin' hot body.

Why did the Senator get on Viagara?

He wanted to achieve erection reform.

Tsar Jokes More Tsar Jokes

What was the Tsar of Russia's favorite fish ?

Tsardines !

What could have been the most stuppidest result of Napolleonic wars if France won?

Tsar Napoleon.