What does a fire, flood, earthquake, tornado, hurricane, and a wife have in common?

Sooner or later, one of them is probably going to get your house.

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Wife Jokes More Wife Jokes

Why do men die before their wives?

Because we want to!

What did Dr Dre say to his wife during Netflix and chill?

Hope you're ready for the next episode

House Jokes More House Jokes

Who's there ! Alistair ! Alistair who ?

Alistairs in this house are broken !

What did the Mexican guy say when the two houses fell on him?

Get off me homes.

Fire Jokes More Fire Jokes

Who sang at the funeral of those who died in a railroads arson?

Adele. Some one set fire to the train

What is the difference between the substance inside a fire hydrant and the substance on the outside of it?

H20 is on the inside, and K9P is on the outside.

Tornado Jokes More Tornado Jokes

What does a blonde and a tornado have in common?

They both start blowing but in the end they take everything from you.

How do you stop an F4 tornado from destroying a town?

A roundhouse kick from Chuck Norris! However, this method will cause more destruction than the tornado.

Hurricane Jokes More Hurricane Jokes

Why are hurricanes named after women?

Because they arrive wet and wild then leave with your house and car

What do a hurricane and a divorce in Virginia have in common?

Screaming, crying, and somebody loses a trailer!

Earthquake Jokes More Earthquake Jokes

What was James Bond after he slept through an earthquake?

Shaken, not stirred.

Why did the seismologist not have to pay for the damage caused by the earthquake?

It wasn't his fault.

Flood Jokes More Flood Jokes

What did the engineer say to the flood?

Dam!

How Do You Start a Flood?

An engineer and an attorney were fishing in the Caribbean. The attorney said, Im here because my house burned down and everything I owned was destroyed by the fire. The insurance company paid for everything. "Thats quite a coincidence," said the engineer. Im here because my house and all my belongings were destroyed by a flood and my insurance company also paid for everything. The puzzled attorney asked, How do you start a flood?