What happened to you ?

PATIENT:I am going to die in a minute. DOCTOR:wait I am coming with in five minutes.

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Happen Jokes More Happen Jokes

What do we call the process which usually happens after a company deliberately sells a misleading product to its customers?

DLC.

What happened when a ship carrying red paint collided with a shipcarrying blue paint?

Both crews were marooned.

Come Jokes More Come Jokes

What did they say about the blind man who got hit by a bus?

He never saw it coming.

What came first?

A chicken and an egg are lying in bed. The chicken is leaning against the headboard smoking a cigarette with a satisfied smile on its face. The egg, looking a bit ticked off, grabs the sheet, rolls over and says ... "Well, I guess we finally answered THAT question!"

Die Jokes More Die Jokes

How did he die?

The rock is kyptonite and the man is superman.

Why did the plumber cry?

His family died.

Doctor Jokes More Doctor Jokes

How do you estimate your kids lifespan?

Hand them a mechanical pencil with the lead out and see how the use it. Child A: look mom I'm a doctor! - expect them to live to 80+ years. Child B: look mom I'm a heroin user! - expect them to live to about 27.

Why are there so many doctors in India?

Because about 20 million people are Sikh.

Wait Jokes More Wait Jokes

Why isn't there a Jared's for boys?

Oh wait, there is.

How can you tell if someone uses Apple products?

Just wait and they'll tell you.

Minute Jokes More Minute Jokes

How long is the flight?

A Polish man calls up an airline. "How long is the flight from Chicago to Warsaw?" "One minute..." "Thank you."

What's that thing called where every time you stand up you have to limp for the first minute?

Oh yeah...39