When I bring you breakfast in bed, why can't you just say "thank you"?

instead of all this "how did you get in to my house " calling 9-11 business.

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Bed Jokes More Bed Jokes

How do you stop black kids from jumping on the bed?

Put velcro on the ceiling.

What do Philadelphia Eagles fans do after they win the superbowl?

Turn of madden and go to bed. (I'm an eagles fan)

Thank Jokes More Thank Jokes

Why can't priests have children?

Because choir boys can't get pregnant, thank God.

What kind of pants to Mario and Luigi wear?

Denim denim denim...denim denim demin I'll see myself out now...thank you

House Jokes More House Jokes

How can you tell if your house was built by lesbian carpenters?

All tongue-in-groove, with no studs.

Why did the blonde climb up to the roof of the bar?

She heard that the drinks were on the house.

Bring Jokes More Bring Jokes

Why do ghosts get invited to parties?

Because they always bring boos.

How do you impress a baker when you're taking his daughter on a date?

Bring her flours

9 Jokes More 9 Jokes

What has 9 arms, 7 legs, 4 heads, and 13 feet?

The finish line of the Boston Marathon.

Why was Yoda afraid of 9?

Because 10 9 8

Breakfast Jokes More Breakfast Jokes

Where do Irish people go for breakfast?

Drunkin Donuts

Why do the French only have one egg for breakfast?

Because one egg is un oeuf.