Why aren't you allowed alcohol on a golf course?

Because it's a crime to drink and drive.

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Drink Jokes More Drink Jokes

Why do ghosts like going out?

So they can drink boo-ze and get sheet-faced.

How do you get a Mormon to stop drinking all of your alcohol?

Invite two of them.

Allow Jokes More Allow Jokes

Why didn't the principal of the school for the blind allow his students to go duck-hunting?

He knew that some of them wouldn't miss the blind ...

Why isn't Sean Connery allowed to play Super Mario Bros. any more?

He kept trying to shave the princess.

Drive Jokes More Drive Jokes

What does an apple and an apple tree have in common?

A: They both don't drive tractors.

What's four inches long and drives women crazy?

A 100 dollar bill you pervert!

Golf Course Jokes More Golf Course Jokes

Why did the elephant take off his socks at the golf course?

He got a hole in one.

What do you call a Russian on a golf course?

Vladimir Puttin'

Alcohol Jokes More Alcohol Jokes

What do a marriage and superglue have in common?

They both form a bond in seconds, last (ideally) forever, and are dissolved by alcohol.

How do you get a Mormon to stop drinking all of your alcohol?

Invite two of them.

Crime Jokes More Crime Jokes

What happens after an alligator commits a crime?

You call an investigator

Why shouldn't you be racist?

Because racism is a crime, and crime is for black people.