Why isn't Sean Connery allowed to play Super Mario Bros. any more?

He kept trying to shave the princess.

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Allow Jokes More Allow Jokes

Why do so many American kids die in school shootings?

They're not allowed to run in the halls.

When do Catholics allow the use of condoms?

When the choir boys have diarrhea.

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How many men do you need to defend Paris?

I have no idea. Nobody ever tried.

Why did the frat boy throw away his curtains?

He was trying to get some Natural Light.

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What was the yacht doing while it played heavy metal music?

Dokken

Why wasn't the fish allowed to play in the band?

Because he couldn't tuna piano!

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Why isn't Sean Connery allowed to play Super Mario Bros. any more?

He kept trying to shave the princess.

How do I feel about your goatee?

I shave every part of my legs except the knees, how do you feel about that

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What time does Sean Connery arrive at Wimbledon?

Tennish

What did Sean Connery say to a couple of lobsters he saw take up an extra parking space?

You're two shellfish."

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What's the difference between a princess and a witch?

2 years of marriage.

What do you call a person whose wife was the Queen, daughter is a Princess and his boss is the Emperor, but he himself is no royal?

Darth Vader.

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What's the difference between a cow and Super Mario Bros?

A cow can't be milked for over 30 years

What denomination are the coins in Super Mario Bros?

They're dollar coins, because a quarter is two bits, which means a dollar is 8 bits.