Why can't Jesus play Football?

He has flashbacks every time he looks at the goal

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Look Jokes More Look Jokes

Where is the lost city of Atlantis?

Lantis. I can't believe nobody has thought to look there yet.

Why did the dolphin go to church?

He was looking for a porpoise. (thought this one up but I doubt I was the first one that did.)

Play Jokes More Play Jokes

What's the difference between America and Saudi Arabia?

You don't need a computer to play minesweeper in Saudi Arabia. (I'm not sorry)

Why can't moccasins play the blues?

They've got no sole.

Jesus Jokes More Jesus Jokes

What version of windows does Jesus use?

XP Edit: Explanation(http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/ChiRho)

Why did Jesus quit playing hockey?

He kept getting nailed to the boards.

Football Jokes More Football Jokes

Why did the football go to the bank?

to get is quarterback.

Where do people in Ghana go to watch football?

The Ghanarena

Goal Jokes More Goal Jokes

What do you call a girl who's preventing you from reaching your goal?

A keeper

How did Paul, the octopus, originally die?

Torres went and asked Paul proudly, "How many goals will I end up with after thia this World Cup " Paul died laughing.

Flashback Jokes More Flashback Jokes

How'd the date go?

Not good. Too many red flags. *Flashback to her house being covered with USSR flags* I think she might be a communist.

What were you doing?

flashback to me trying to find the actual Hogwarts* "Grad school."