Why did the man that drank 10 cups of poisoned Lipton not die?

He drank so much poison it built his immuni-tea.

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Drink Jokes More Drink Jokes

What do you call an overweight star wars fanatic who drinks too much coffee?

Java the Hutt

What did the Scotsman say when he went for another drink?

Hey, where'd my Glascow "

Poison Jokes More Poison Jokes

How is the American public now like Socrates?

By November, they will have both picked their poison.

Why did Snow White buy an android phone?

She thought the apple was poisoned.

Man Jokes More Man Jokes

Why can't a vegetable win an argument?

Cuz he always uses a straw, man!

What do you give to a man who has everything?

Penicillin

Build Jokes More Build Jokes

What do people in florida do when their car breaks down?

Build a house next to it.

What's it called when Hobbits build houses for other Hobbits?

Hobbitat for Humanity

Die Jokes More Die Jokes

Why are cemeteries surrounded with walls?

Because people are dying to get in there.

Why do Europeans hate American food?

Europeans don't want to die yet. Unlike Americans who don't wanna diet.

10 Jokes More 10 Jokes

Where do Knights get their armour?

The hardware store. One I came up with when I was about 10.

Why couldn't the blonde add 10 and seven on a calculator?

A: She couldn't find the 10 key.