Poison Jokes

How does a Nun save herself from being poisoned?

Nun chucks.

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Why do you give children who swallowed poison some milk?

To make them happy before they die.

How do chemists poison each other?

With a Pb & J sandwich

How do you poison a hipster?

Gluten

How is the American public now like Socrates?

By November, they will have both picked their poison.

What's that funny taste?

Definitely not poison. Have another slice!

Why did the man that drank 10 cups of poisoned Lipton not die?

He drank so much poison it built his immuni-tea.

Why did Snow White buy an android phone?

She thought the apple was poisoned.

What sort of perfume do snakes prefer ?

Poison by Christian Dior !

Who poisoned the waters in the 2016 Olympics?

It was I, **RIO**!!!

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Dinner Jokes More Dinner Jokes

How do you say dinner in spanish?

JOHN CENA

What did the sea monster have for dinner?

Fish and ships.

Nun Jokes More Nun Jokes

What is black and white and black and white and black and white?

A nun falling down stairs

How many Women Priest are there?

Nun.

Bad Thing Jokes More Bad Thing Jokes

What's the worst thing to say to a friend you see on a plane?

Hi Jack!

What's the worst thing you can do to a blind man?

Leave the plunger in the toilet

Save Jokes More Save Jokes

How do you save a Republican from drowning?

Take your foot off of their head.

What do you do with the time saved?

Me: *tying my dogs shoes* Sorry, what

November Jokes More November Jokes

How is the American public now like Socrates?

By November, they will have both picked their poison.

Who would win a battle between an orangutan and a hyena?

I don't know, but we'll find out November 8, 2016.

Food Poisoning Jokes More Food Poisoning Jokes

How did Michael Jackson get food poisoning?

He ate a 10 year old wiener.

Why did the Russian man get food poisoning?

Because NE-coli.

Die Jokes More Die Jokes

Why did Bilbo Baggins live for so long?

Because old Hobbits die hard...

What did the fruit enthusiast do as he was dying?

Prepear for the end.

Diet Coke Jokes More Diet Coke Jokes

What is the difference between rat poison and diet coke?

Diet coke has better advertising.

What taste good?

Tender: I usually like rum in Diet Coke. Man: how do you get a Roman in a Diet Coke Tender: *facepalm*