Why the big pause................................?

Said the man in the pub to the bear. First heard this joke told by Eddie Izzard.

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Man Jokes More Man Jokes

What's the difference between a terrorist cell and a children's hospital?

Don't ask me man, I just fly the drones.

What do you call a supernatural being that only grants wishes to men?

A miso-genie!

Tell Jokes More Tell Jokes

How do you tell the difference between a plumber and a chemist?

Ask him/her to pronounce unionized

How do you get a hippie to jump off a cliff?

Tell them it will "cleanse toxins."

Bear Jokes More Bear Jokes

When a programmer is born, what are their first words?

Hello world!"

Why did the mother bear ask the baby bear to wear shoes before he ran through the forest?

Because he was barefooted!!!

Joke Jokes More Joke Jokes

How many babysitters does it take to change a light bulb?

Are you joking? They can't even change a dirty diaper!

How did I know my joke was not alright with my audience?

They all left.

Hear Jokes More Hear Jokes

Why did the cannibal go to KFC?

He heard it was finger licking good.

Why did the rabbit run out of the fast-food restaurant?

He thought he heard someone order a quarter pounder on a toasted bunny.

Pub Jokes More Pub Jokes

What did the Irishman text his Wife?

Honey I'm down at the pub having a pint with the lads. Be home in about 30 min. If I'm not back by then please read this message again."

What do you call sunscreen in Ireland?

Pubs

Big Pause Jokes More Big Pause Jokes

What's with the big pause?

And the polar bear says, "Oh, I've always had them."

Why the big pause................................?

Said the man in the pub to the bear. First heard this joke told by Eddie Izzard.