14 Jokes

How many dogs does it take to count 14 plates?

14, maybe 15, but only if the plates ... 'run around a lot!'

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Whats the difference between a priest and acne?

One waits till you're 14 before coming on your face.

How does Romney only claim a 14% tax rate?

He claims 47% of the U.S. as dependents.

What has two arms and 14 legs?

Guy who collects legs.

Why was 7 arrested for homicide?

Because somebody divided 14 into 2 and he was the prime suspect

How did Mitt Romney get a 14% tax rate?

He claimed 47% of America as dependents.

How do you make gold soup?

Put 14 carrots in it.

Where does it stop?

8 Chainz frowned. "14 Chainz doesn't have time for

How can you make a soup rich?

Add 14 carrots (carats) to it.

Why did Woodrow Wilson take a long time to turn around?

Because he could only make 14 point turns.

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14 Year Old Jokes More 14 Year Old Jokes

What do a 14 year old and an open bucket of bleach have in common?

For twenty bucks either'll take care of your toddler. -&y (yup, mine)

What is the best part about showering with a 14 year old girl?

If you slick her hair back just right, she looks nine!

Count Jokes More Count Jokes

How many dogs does it take to count 14 plates?

14, maybe 15, but only if the plates ... 'run around a lot!'

What did the dejected man say to the considerate calculator trying to console him?

It's the bot that counts.

U. S. Jokes More U. S. Jokes

What do you call a high security U.S. prison in China?

Wonton-amo Bay

How much liquid can Monica Lewinskys mouth hold?

One U.S. Liter

Weeker Jokes More Weeker Jokes

What do you call a drug addict who has been awake for 14 days straight?

A "two-weeker"

What do you call a meth-head that's been up for 2 weeks?

A two-weeker

Partner Jokes More Partner Jokes

How do you get your partner to give you head?

Put them in a guillotine.

What does Ronda Rousey's opponents and myself have in common?

We both barely last 14 seconds and leave our partners underwhelmed.

Face Jokes More Face Jokes

What do priests and zits have in common?

They bost bust on 12 year Olds faces

What's another word for a face tattoo?

An everlasting jobstopper.

Independence Jokes More Independence Jokes

Where was the Declaration of Independence signed?

At the bottom.

When did mathematicians get their independence?

March 14.

Come Jokes More Come Jokes

What's a boomerang called that's not coming back?

A Stick.

What's the best joke you know that's kid-safe?

I know plenty of raunchy jokes, but was asked this recently and came up blank