82 Jokes

How can you tell when a Canadian is successful?

He dies in his LA home at 82.

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Which number confuses people?

82

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Fall Jokes More Fall Jokes

What did the horse say when he fell over?

Help! I've fallen and I can't giddy up."

What is the difference between falling from the 2nd floor and the 20th floor?

The 2nd floor: (SPLAT) AAAAAaaaaaaaagggghhhhhhhhhhh...... The 20th floor: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAaaaaaaahhhhhhhh!!! (SPLAT)

Speed Jokes More Speed Jokes

Where can you find the speed of light?

At C level

What did the cow say to the police officer, giving a speeding ticket?

Miav.

La Jokes More La Jokes

Who takes the best selfies in LA?

I need someone good to do mine.

What do you call a vampire that can lift up cars ?

Jack-u-la !

Tell Jokes More Tell Jokes

What did the hippy say when he was told to get off the couch and get a job?

Namaste (pronounced:nah I'ma stay)

Why is a man's pee yellow, and his sperm white?

So he can tell if he's coming or going.

Canadian Jokes More Canadian Jokes

Why do Canadians prefer their jokes in hexidecimal?

Because 7 8 9 A

What'll it be kid?

Seal plops a five on the counter and says "Anything but a Canadian Club."

Sauce Jokes More Sauce Jokes

Why did the chip chase the sauce?

To ketchup Edit: I'm sorry

Where is Jennifer's husband?

Jennifer is 21 years older than her son Douglas. 6 years from now, Jennifer will be 5 times as old as Douglas. Question: Where is Jennifer's husband? Solution: J=D+21 J+6=5(D+6) According to my math, Douglas has 3/4 years, which means -9 months. Pregnancy lasts for nine months, so Jennifer's husband is in the bed with her right now. Sauce:

Woman Jokes More Woman Jokes

What is Caitlyn Jenner's favorite song?

More than a Woman by the BeeGees

What do you get if you cross a woman with a whale?

Your research funding suspended and a severe reprimand from the ethics committee.

Confuse Jokes More Confuse Jokes

What fruit makes you confused?

Papayas See, you're confused right?

Why does Harambe confuse bartenders?

All he wants is Just Ice