Devil Jokes

Why women prefer devils instead of angels?

Because devils are horny.

This joke may have profanity.

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Why can the Devil never go back to Georgia?

He fiddled up a little kid.

How many angels can dance on the head of a pin?

Depends on what tune the Devil happens to be playing. Ha. Ha ha. Ha ha ha.

Why did the banjo player get into heaven?

The devil has standards.

What do you call a fruit that argues against the position it supports?

The Devil's advocado.

Why does the Devil hate the holiday Season?

Because he gets so many letters from dyslexic children.

How does the devil measure his drugs?

In pentagrams

What did the devil get arrested for?

Possession!

Why did the devil buy so many shoes?

He wanted their soles.

How much did the Cubs pay the devil to win the World Series?

2016

Why does it take so long when Satan is in front of you in line at the post office?

Because the devil takes many forms.

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Who's there ! Becker ! Becker who ?

Becker the devil you know !

How do you hit those high notes?

Adam Levine: I sold my soul to the devil. Interviewer: Excuse me Adam Levine: Practice.

How do you know the devil is white?

Because he owns hell, he doesn't work for hell.

Why was the ginger declined when he tried to sell his soul to the devil?

Insufficient funds.

What's the difference between the Devil and Ted Cruz?

The Devil has standards.

Why don't programers pay tax to the Devil?

Because that would be a sin-tax issue.

What did the Devil say to the being that sold its soul to him?

Nice doing business with you!"

What does the devil say to hell rejects?

Why don't you fork off

What does a wicked chicken lay?

A: Deviled eggs.

What if the Bible had a major typo and the Devil was really after our SOIL?

Maybe he just wants to grow some pot plants.

Why does the devil get such a bad rap?

Because like everyone in marketing, he always lets his own stuff slide...