Fiancee Jokes

Why couldn't the watermelon get married in Vegas?

Because his fiancee is a cantaloupe!

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How does a nihilist propose to his fiancee?

Even though my existence is meaningless I want to spend the rest of it with you."

How did Jennifer Aniston find her fiancee?

She looked very Theroux-ly.

What did Jay-Z call Beyonce before they were married?

Fiancee

Why are woman's feet always so cold in bed?

Because they have no soles. Joke my fiancee just said to me.

What did the network engineer give to his fiancee?

A token ring.

What did Jay-Z call Beyonce after they got engaged?

Fiancee.

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Bed Jokes More Bed Jokes

How can you shorten a bed?

Don't sleep long in it.

What does it mean when a man is in your bed, gasping for air, and calling your name?

You didn't hold down the pillow for long enough.

John Jokes More John Jokes

What is everyone writing songs about?

John: revolution Paul: forgiveness George: true love Ringo: hmm, a submarine or maybe an octopus

How bad is it?

John: "How bad is what "

Cantaloupe Jokes More Cantaloupe Jokes

Where did the cantaloupe take his vacation?

John Cougar's Melon Camp

Whats the only fruit that can't run away to get married??

A Cantaloupe.

Token Ring Jokes More Token Ring Jokes

What did the network engineer give to his fiancee?

A token ring.

What did the network engineer give to his fiance?

A token ring.

Existence Jokes More Existence Jokes

What did the Borg's existential brother say (Star Trek)?

Existence is futile.

What does a dyslexic agnostic insomniac do?

Stays up all night pondering the existence of a dog

Jay Z Beyonce Jokes More Jay Z Beyonce Jokes

What did Jay-Z call Beyonce before they were married?

Fiancee

What did Jay-Z call Beyonce before they got married?

Feyonce

Spend Jokes More Spend Jokes

What do you call an NSA whistle-blower spending the winter in Russia?

Edward Snowed-in

What do you call someone who spends 24 hours a day on the Internet?

Anything you like they're not listening to you anyway.

Want Jokes More Want Jokes

What was the point in making your car louder, bro?

Do you really want women to turn their heads and notice you drive a 1999 Honda Civic

What did the teenage crow want for his birthday?

a-CAW!