Gollum Jokes

What is Gollum's favourite bird?

A Smeagull! :D

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What does Gollum think about Gandalf's smoking addiction?

Stupid, filthy habitses!

Why was Gollum executed at a bar in Iraq?

Because he asked for Ice-es

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Bar Jokes More Bar Jokes

How can you tell when a bar is haunted?

It's full of Boo's and Spirits.

What is the difference between a hog and a man?

A: A hog doesn't have to sit in a bar and buy drinks all night just so he can f*** some pig.

Gandalf Jokes More Gandalf Jokes

Why is Gandalf so good in bed?

Because a wizard is never late, nor is he early, he arrives precisely when he means to.

Who played Gandalf in the Islamic version of Lord of the Rings?

Syrian Mckellen

Think Jokes More Think Jokes

How the hell should I know?

Let me talk to a few criminals and see who they think is scariest."

Why no pants on?

We think he tried to jump into his pants & fell

Scallop Jokes More Scallop Jokes

What's Gollum's favourite food?

Scallops, scallops!

How does a sea horse run?

Scallops!

Iraq Jokes More Iraq Jokes

What's Iraq's favourite sitcom?

Men behaving Baghdadly.

Why isn't there a Wal-Mart in Iraq?

because there is a target in every corner.

Ask Jokes More Ask Jokes

What's he like?

asked the police officer sympathetically. The boy replied, "Beer and women."

What's it like to have a social life?

Asking for a friend.

Execute Jokes More Execute Jokes

What do you get when you cross Henry VIII and Vlad the Impaler?

Executed.

Why is an abortionist good to have on your team?

If you conceive something, they can execute it.